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Easter Sunday

I ATE RIBS – 28 (Trasher)

Easter Sunday last year. I skipped church at home and stayed in town. My dad probably sang the same hymns he sings every Easter up in the balcony and my mom may have slept in and then read instead. We used to make a big production of it all. Ladies in hats and dresses. Men/Boys in suits and dress shoes. Pictures on the front steps of my Grandparents.
The lord had risen (again) in some place no one could see. At a mid-day meal with your family, my guilt over eating animals had risen; risen and evaporated. I decided that I loved you more than animals. I ate. Ribs and brisket; my first intentional large serving of meat in about 5 years. Well, taco bell fucked up my “sub beans for beef please” order once and I ate it on the principle of not wasting what I spent money on. That’s not meat for the most part anyway. Oh, and me and my brother bought tamales once in Santa Cruz out of a cooler from a Mexican women. She only had two left and said they were veggie. Turns out mine was stuffed with an oily and savory meat log. I ate that, also for principle/experience/culture/travelers hunger.
I didn’t get sick off the Sunday brunch. I felt amazing actually. Amazing grace. I felt flexible. I felt willing. I felt kind of liberated and bad ass like who cares about living your life in rigid, black and white structure. Let’s get leather jackets! What’s right and what’s wrong is not always the same in every situation. We were right. Our worlds were colliding and we were filling up on each other, licking our blood-barbeque fingers even. I never didn’t like meat. I never didn’t like you. I didn’t like hurting (animals,you,me).
Easter this year I went home, met up with my family. I dressed up. I saw my Grandfather in the hospital too sick to speak. Afterward we all made it up to the balcony to see my Grandmother and catch the end of the Hallelujah Chorus. I hate that song.. for-ever AND ev-er. We went to my other Gram’s for early dinner. You were asked about and it was nice to be able to say “working… oh, good.. really busy lately with…” I stuck to potatoes and greens, a couple deviled eggs. I skipped the ham. I don’t really seek out meat. I don’t shop for it. I am usually fine avoiding it. I have a craving though. A longing. I am looking for someone to go to Village Coney with me and eat a real dog. A real dog, maybe with meat chili on it. Sometimes only the real thing will do. Whatever the cost. Whatever the weight of it.

ME.

_____

Filed under: Beyond Wally World

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