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Author Archives: Missed Connections

Fo real tho


GURL! U was lookin fine up at da Walmart on Winsdy nite! U was in da cigarette line with yo hair all up in sponge rollers. U had a purple fuzzy slippa on yo good foot & a white slippa on yo leg wit da crutch. U had looked my way of a quick minute but I was all shy & shit & I had tried to get to attenshun when yo baby dropped his blanket. But to was in cupcake pjs & day ass was lookin fine! Okaaay? I was da one who look like a dude right behind u wit da colors light. So if u out der I mean lemme know wuts up! Cuz boo, I like u! Fo real tho!

cookie monster

(November 2013, Forney, TX)


November 2013

You were wearing a huge novelty foam cowboy hat – m4w (Walmart)

You were walking through the aisles without a cart picking up items, apparently at random, and throwing them on the floor, then thrusting your pelvis forward while fist-pumping. It was vulgar. I think you were on drugs. I stalked you through the store until you opened a 5 quart bottle of motor oil and poured it all over the floor, at which point you were escorted out of the store while shouting racial slurs.

Anyway please contact me with the color of your hat so I know it’s you.

cowboy hat

Shakopee, MN, September 2013

big booty white lady

Gilbert, AZ, May 2014

You farted, blushed and ran away – m4w (walmart power and ray)

You are stunning, long dark hair, beautiful eyes and that smile wow. You seemed interested too, thats why I started toward you. I’m not sure if you got scared, nervous, shy, or whatever. Big deal you farted everyone does, you shouldn’t have bolted and left me in your dust. You are gorgeous nice thick hips and all, but I can’t say you smelled like roses lol. Anyway I still want to know your name. What was I wearing? Lets go out and laugh about this later.

The Blue eye guy


Easter Sunday

I ATE RIBS – 28 (Trasher)

Easter Sunday last year. I skipped church at home and stayed in town. My dad probably sang the same hymns he sings every Easter up in the balcony and my mom may have slept in and then read instead. We used to make a big production of it all. Ladies in hats and dresses. Men/Boys in suits and dress shoes. Pictures on the front steps of my Grandparents.
The lord had risen (again) in some place no one could see. At a mid-day meal with your family, my guilt over eating animals had risen; risen and evaporated. I decided that I loved you more than animals. I ate. Ribs and brisket; my first intentional large serving of meat in about 5 years. Well, taco bell fucked up my “sub beans for beef please” order once and I ate it on the principle of not wasting what I spent money on. That’s not meat for the most part anyway. Oh, and me and my brother bought tamales once in Santa Cruz out of a cooler from a Mexican women. She only had two left and said they were veggie. Turns out mine was stuffed with an oily and savory meat log. I ate that, also for principle/experience/culture/travelers hunger.
I didn’t get sick off the Sunday brunch. I felt amazing actually. Amazing grace. I felt flexible. I felt willing. I felt kind of liberated and bad ass like who cares about living your life in rigid, black and white structure. Let’s get leather jackets! What’s right and what’s wrong is not always the same in every situation. We were right. Our worlds were colliding and we were filling up on each other, licking our blood-barbeque fingers even. I never didn’t like meat. I never didn’t like you. I didn’t like hurting (animals,you,me).
Easter this year I went home, met up with my family. I dressed up. I saw my Grandfather in the hospital too sick to speak. Afterward we all made it up to the balcony to see my Grandmother and catch the end of the Hallelujah Chorus. I hate that song.. for-ever AND ev-er. We went to my other Gram’s for early dinner. You were asked about and it was nice to be able to say “working… oh, good.. really busy lately with…” I stuck to potatoes and greens, a couple deviled eggs. I skipped the ham. I don’t really seek out meat. I don’t shop for it. I am usually fine avoiding it. I have a craving though. A longing. I am looking for someone to go to Village Coney with me and eat a real dog. A real dog, maybe with meat chili on it. Sometimes only the real thing will do. Whatever the cost. Whatever the weight of it.



Filed under: Beyond Wally World

For the title alone. And, it’s the anniversary of the Gettysburg address, so…

Walmart Spandex Hottie – m4w – 28 (Gettysburg)

Yesterday around 2:00pm I was going out and you were going in, if I wasn’t on a work call I would’ve tried to speak to you. I say try because you took my breath away with those sexy legs in those spandex shorts. Anyhows not to sound like such a creeper but I think everyone deserves a compliment and you are simply one of the most beautiful girls on the planet.. 🙂 

•Location: Gettysburg
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Posted: 2013-10-24, 1:14PM EDT

for the title alone


Cashier – w4m – 20 (Walmart, Boone)

Date: 2012-07-26, 12:22AM EDT

I didn’t catch your name, but you a cashier at Walmart. You real cute — longish brown hair and a scruffy beard, real nice. I been interested lately. Reply if you think it’s you. It’d be real nice to talk to you when you ain’t workin.

I love her accent