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Category Archives: Cockblocking Moms

It’s because your mom was there that I didn’t rip your clotges* off like a grizzly bear

walmart cutie* – m4w – 23 (victorville walmart)

I was the cute guy with the cute girl . I saw you though . Mmm i wanted to rip ur clotges off with my teeth like a grizzly bear right over that checkout stand . And i would have but maybe tgat was ur mom . Idk …. Someone was with.you . Tell me something anything that would let me know its you . Maybe something about me . And if it is me. We can exchange pics then and see for sure…k

___

Not at all because my girlfriend was there. I totally would’ve done it in front of her.

*I originally changed this to “clothes” but realized I shouldn’t make assumptions. I’m just imaginging* a scene from The Office in which Dwight’s cousin, Mose, explains that clotges is the beet farming word for clothes…or something. Oh, and this asterisk has nothing to do with the asterisk next to “cutie.” Unless clotge means cutie in beet farmer.

Do grizzly bears strip you before they kill and dismember you?

*I originally corrected this to “imagining,” but realized that I like imaginging better.

Filed under: Cockblocking Moms

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He’s “this” close to referring to himself in the third person

Super Walmart Garden Department – m4w – 30 (Vineland)

Yesterday I was in doing some shopping getting stuff for My kids for Easter.  You opened up a second register and I was your first customer. When I laid eyes on you, you took My Breath away.  You first rung up My kids new bikes then Mine, you commented that you liked the bike. As I looked you over, I thought how beautiful you were, that shy smile, with beautiful full lips.  I think you might have been in to Me as well you seemed to be having a hard time making eye contact with Me. Had My mother not have come along with Me to shop, I probably would have stayed and talked to you, I can't stop thinking about you.  You had a great body, great smile, beautiful hair-do, and that tattoo made Me wonder if you have any others.  If you think this is you, reply with your name, and what My Bike looked like.

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“Had my mother not have come along with me to shop, I probably would have stayed…” That’s a direct quote from Psycho, right?

Filed under: Cockblocking Moms

Three Cockblocking Moms

Walmart 3/2 – m4w (Tillmans Cornner)

Wanted to talk to u but was there with my mom,had just helped her get an iphone. U probably want see but worth a shot.

brunette shopping w mom bolton walmart – m4w (bolton walmart)

Hey there... I saw you standing in the checkout line as I was walking past and I'm sure you noticed me smiling. Then again while I was waiting in line to buy food I saw you walk by and smile at me... My burger took a little long to make so I didn't get to see you again but I'm not too savvy on techniques for picking up a girl in front of her mother so no loss there.

Hopefully you check this out.

Missed you at Walmart – m4w – 30 (Pittsburgh- W. Mifflin)

Ok.... Saw you at Walmart. Beautiful red hair. Was going to talk to you, but you were with somebody that looked like your mother. So, I passed. I was wearing the red shirt. Don't know if I have a better chance at winning the lottery than hearing back from you, but tout that it was worth the effort.

G.

Filed under: Cockblocking Moms

Actually, she’s my patent attorney…

Walmart Easter Sunday – m4m – 30 (San antonio)

Sunday night walmart on military and goliad rd around 8pm, you were with your patents. You were waring a blk quicksilver Tshirt and blue jeans
That made your ass look amazing. Light skin Latino, you were just amazing looking. Wanted to get your attention in the store but you were handling stuff for your mom?
Would love to just hang out sometime. Email me back and tell me what kinda shoes you had on.

Long long shot but I'll never know.

You were just dreamy!

___

and my mom. It’s complicated. I actually invented her.

Filed under: Cockblocking Moms

A stereotype I was unaware of

Walmart shorty – m4w – 34 (walmart off 59 in warren)

Hey dont think you will see this because most black people hardly come on craigslist. I saw you today with I think you was with your mom, but I just wanted to say you are very sexy. I love chocolate women i had on white tee and gray shirt if you ever want to chill holla I am only here until the 14th oh yeah I am married just to be honest.

Filed under: Cockblocking Moms, Damn Wives

You just met your future mother-in-law

perfume guy at walmart on univ. and pembroke rd. – w4m – 25

Hey, I'm the girl in the glasses who can't seem to say no to her mother lol...I'm sorry things ended like that. I really didn't want them to, but my mother...anyways. There's basically 0% chance that you'll find this, but if you do, please hit me up. I thought you were cute. 🙂 I'm just gonna sit here, pissed off and embarrassed, and hope that that little incident didn't turn you off completely, because I would have liked to continue that conversation. Don't hesitate. DO IT! 😉

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DON’T DO IT!

Filed under: Cockblocking Moms