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Category Archives: States

Walmart + Parking Lot = Crazy

you caught me at walmart. your so crazy – m4w – 33 (huber heights)

This was the most crazy moment i have ever been a part of.
I was a walmart in the parking lot. I was just out of work. I had to pee so bad. I started urinating in between two cars when u caught me.

This is were it got weird!!. You started laughing then you ran up to me and started high fiving my urine stream. I was in shock. Then you start running back and forth through it like it was a sprinkler. What the hell is wrong with you? You were a pretty, thirtyish white women. You ran off and said a famous line from a tv cartoon. I cant stop thinking of you.

What did u say when you ran off.

I wanna take care of you

Posted: November 2013

 

cant be real

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Smell you later!

The pretty girl who passed gas at Walmart – m4w – 26 (central ave)

Date:  2013-10-12, 11:04PM EDT

I dropped my bread, and you bent down to get it for me. You passed gas as you bent down and you were completely embarrassed. You ran without my catching your name. You are so pretty, and it actually turned me on. Tell me what you were wearing. I hope to smell you soon.

 

 

Toledo OH 101213

Lost in Translation

Walmart (washington BLVD) – m4w (Baltimore

Date: 2012-05-13, 8:12PM EDT

I met you in the counter around 7:30pm today, you are the counter 2 and I’m in 1. White beautiful woman with pink shirt and wears mini brown short. Our eyes meet for like 3/4 times. I was about to say “hi” to you but I don’t know how to approach ^_^. I’m asian guy as you think. I posted this because I’m wondering if I can call you and more. If it is you, please tell me my shirt color so that I would know that it’s really you. You diffidently catches my attention and I can marry you now the next morning.

i can marry you now the next morning

Once You Go Sap

Maple syrup at Walmart – m4w – 46 (Walmart in Missoula)

Date: 2012-05-06, 7:39PM MDT

Thank you to the very nice lady who talked me into getting the real maple syrup. It was delicious. I won’t be going back to the bad stuff. Thank you again.

once you go sap

One of my all time favs

SMOKE ON THE WAAATERRR – 28 (Guitar Center)

Date: 2012-05-05, 10:20AM EDT

Going to Guitar Center is the burden of my rock life… worse even than my co-workers thinking I’m psycho for being in my late twenties and in a band that doesn’t make money. You walk in the door knowing that you will be called “Dude” in a faux casual way at least ten times in a row. When you finally pass through this goateed, hoop earringed, tribal tattoo jungle of GC lingo and ask for help, they’ll be like
“Oh sick. What do you play?”
“Yeaaaa,,, what kinda stuff you into?”
“You in-a-band?? Where do you all gig at?”
“Nice choice, that’s the only kind I use….” whatever, sure it is. Please just let me buy my goddamned stuff without trying to sell me a clear bodied BC Rich Warlock. Without fail, there is a 12 year old guitar prodigy kid plugged in and turned up way too loud, finger tapping some shit that would take you a year to learn, effortlessly, while his hack of a Dad is 5 feet away on another amp playing Smoke On The Water. Some stoner is playing Smells Like Teen Spirit. Some pop-punk geek with orange chucks and a checkered wrist band is playing Brain Stew. I won’t even go in the acoustic room, for fear of the Christian folk jam out that is probably underway in there. Every gear head working there is day dreaming about their ideal full stack. It’s the perfect time to stick an $80 mic that’s on display in the ass of my boxer briefs and strings in the front. I don’t feel bad.
Why don’t I just support Mom and Pop? You know, Swamp Dog… 5th Avenue Fret Shop. I guess it’s American to buy corporate, cheap and without integrity. That extra two bucks for a new cable was probably just going to go to Taco Bell anyway. I should just quit Guitar Center, go to my locals.

Anyway, when I checked out, you didn’t even look at my receipt when you stamped it (All GCs have this check point before you leave). You didn’t even look in my bag. You didn’t call me dude. You did not call me anything. You looked right into my eyes and said, “Have a nice day” in the most unconvincing way I have ever heard. I said, “Only if you do first” with a tone to match your brutal sarcasm. You smirked and actually looked at me… I mean SAW me. I like your face. I like your auburn hair. You still have holes from a double labret piercing. You looked like the reformed goth type… you try to hide it but your black candle still burns. I hate my job too. I like that you aren’t afraid to show it. I’m a holey sneaker wearing, long hair, never gonna be a full timer type that wants to go to the record store at least once a week. I want to listen to Dinosaur JR and drive around with the windows down on nice days. There’s a goth dance nite at The Shrunken Head. You want to go? I look decent in black lip stick. I’ll dance even when I’m sober. What do you say?

Did you check me out when I checked out?
me.

 

smoke on the water

“Meat.” (giggle…snort)

Walmart Lewis Center – m4m – 42 (Lewis Center)

Date: 2012-04-22, 1:48AM EDT

Saw you tonight in the frozen food section we said hello twice and you told me you were tired. If you see this its a long shot but I definitely was into you. I really would like to meat you. I hope you see this.

 

euphemism

Yeeeeaah…creepy

Addicted – m4w – 31 (Antioch)

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Date: 2012-05-15, 7:24AM CDT
Reply to:
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Im addicted to all the women that i see out. Guess im to shy to say anything. And for the last 4weeks i have been addicted to CL. So many women i have seen in walmart … gas station..just in a parking lot or out running.

 

um...creepy