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People get so excited about pumpkin beer. !.

Walmart Friday 10-11 You were buying wine! – m4w – 41 (Joplin)

I talked to you in line at Walmart on Rangeline! You were buying the wine and Pumpkin beer!
You were sweet & so pretty! And an awesome smile!
You were in tennis shoes & scrubs!
I’d like to talk to you again, maybe over a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon!
Just thinking about you and would like to know you!
Email and let’s go from there!

Location: Joplin

Posted: 2013-10-14, 3:40PM CDT

!

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YOLO!

To the guy who publicly urinated in front of my kids at Fred Meyers – w4m – 39

I dig your badass disposition. The world is your oyster…and you’re going to pull your penis out and piss all over that oyster. Yolo, am I right? You did’nt care that I was with my kids…or that the public bus was driving by…or that there was a man eating a sandwich about 3 feet away from where you were peeing, you just said to yourself “Ride til I die motha fucka!”. You got gumption my friend. To quote lady Marmalade, “you got soul, you got class, you got style, you a badass.” I hope one of my children who caught a clear glimpse of your penis head grows up to be just like you. Did it hurt…when you fell from heaven. Maybe we can get together sometime and pee in the toy section of Wal-mart on Christmas Eve. I’ll bring the 40’s, you bring your penis. No spam replies.

 

yolo

Spider Position

They all suck! – m4w – 27 (Hillsdale)

Date: 2012-06-01, 1:11 AM EDT

I know you’ll never read this since “The personals on Craigslist are for hookers!”

Since I know you won’t see this I feel comfortable in stating two things…

1. I still despise you. When I saw you at the beach I…whatever. You’re a wench! And your new “friend” is older than I am! Perhaps he should not be dressed like a member of the Wu-Tang Clan!

2. I’ve yet to find a woman good enough in bed to even come close to your performances. It’s seriously bothering me, too! I actually found myself fantasizing about you last night while screwing a woman I met at Wal-Mart. Worse part was I tried getting her into your “Spider Position” and…nevermind.

So. in closing I’m still mad you screwed me over and hope your vagina develops blisters, and your breasts give you back problems! I’m also angry that no woman is as good in the sack as you…

Screw it. I need sleep and to sober up a bit.

 

spider position2

 

p.p.s. And for stalking you.

To the angel in the Walmart parking lot – m4w – 24 (Washington)

Date: 2012-05-28, 7:32PM MDT

I was pulling into a parking spot on Wednesday afternoon (about 5) when I almost hit you with my Ford. I stopped just in time to let you pass. You were wearing a black shirt. I opened the door as you muttered something under your breath loud enough for me to hear. I kept my distance behind you because you were so beautiful when you were angry I couldn’t help but watch. You walked through the store daring not to stop, trying to lose me. Then, finally you couldn’t take it anymore and you turned on me and yelled something. If this is you please message me. Tell me what you told me and I will know for sure.

p.s. Sorry for trying to kill you.

 

ps

Me Tarzan. You Girl in Walmart.

pretty sure this is tarzan

I can see how it’d be hard to turn this one down

Walmart on Garners Ferry – m4m – 38 (Columbia)

Date: 2012-05-12, 7:24PM EDT

I passed you several times while grocery shopping Saturday afternoon at the Garners Ferry Walmart. You were with your unattractive wife and cranky kids pushing a shopping cart and you looked absolutely miserable. I felt so sorry for you. You were white, dark haired and very good looking. Seriously you were cute. I hated seeing you so miserable and if I knew how to make contact I would invite you over for a cold beerand a safe place to hide from home. Very open minded guy here and serious about offering you a refuge from the home storm. I got a fridge full of beer, premium cable and lots of porn to watch. Would love to have you over to hangout – would love to give you head if interested.
Please tell me what color shirt you were wearing if you see this.

 

hard to turn this one down

 

Ode to Angel on Isle 9

you deserve the best of everything – m4w – 40 (north texas)

Date: 2012-07-02, 8:56AM CDT
 
Look in the mirror and tell me what do u see..strikingly beautiful with a smile that creases,
The hearts of many men the various places you frequent. Im aimlessly shopping walmart isles in disbelief when;
The effects of your vanity, caused a reaction.
Maybe its the man in me, that silent attraction.
You look, i look back. Its obvious your alone by the items in your basket.
Acknowledge your presence with a smile so innocent. Its as if we were one in a prior life and our reconnection is eminant. If theres a man in your life, then he better hold on to;
An angel on isle 9 the kind i’d long to come home too! Ill push that cart and get everything you want boo.
Ill worship your every angle and do everything he wont do!
Now if i wasnt so smitten, i would have followed thru wit my plan, but abruptly
i left, your admirer forever, mr. Tall dark and handsome…

 

poet2